Never Let Go
by Sixty Five Roses
Summary: Based on spoilers for episode 5x11 - "White Lies". Andy can't get a hold of Sharon, who is attending the Dwight Darnell trial. When he hears about the shooting that took place at the courthouse, he rushes to find her.


**A/N** **: This fic is based on the summaries of the next episode. After seeing the promo, I'm pretty sure things will unfold in a different manner, but I began writing this about 3 weeks ago, and here's my take on it.**

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The call reached Sharon's voicemail for the third time in a raw and made Andy sigh. She never turned off her phone before; not even while she was interrogating a suspect. He knew she was supposed to be at court today, but all of his texts messages to her were unreceived and her phone was off. What was going on? He sighed and shoved his phone into his pocket as he walked out of the elevator, finding the Major Crimes division in the process of rolling out.

"What's going on?" he asked Provenza who seemed to be in a bad mood.

"There's been a mass shooting at the courthouse," the older lieutenant informed him. "There are several casualties. Taylor wants us to take the lead on the one."

"Wait, what do you mean, at the courthouse?" Andy stood in Provenza's way. "Sharon is supposed to be there!" He didn't even try to hide the panic in his voice. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried calling her again. "She's not answering," he declared and with that he turned around and started running towards the elevator, not hearing Provenza calling after him.

The elevator was packed with uniformed cops who seemed to be heading to the courthouse as well.

"Are you heading to court?" Andy asked one of them and received a single nod. "Can you brief me on what has happened there?"

"A psychopath went in there with a gun and murdered a judge and 3 civilians," the young cop replied. "And they have 2 officers down, but nobody knows who it is yet." Andy could feel his blood pressure rising, and he could almost hear the hiss of the blood rushing through his veins. Officer down was one of the scariest things a cop could ever hear. Sharon was excellent with a gun, but after spending most of her career in IA, she lacked some valuable experience in field incidents.

As the elevator descended, his mind kept wondering if she knew how much he loved her. Did he ever tell her how happy she made him? Did he ever let her know that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her? Did he ever show her how much he adored her? He wasn't sure. And he didn't want to lose her, especially not before she knew all those things.

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The LA traffic annoyed Andy on a normal day, and right now it almost made him explode. Even though he knew that Sharon would not approve, he used his lights and sirens to get to the court faster, but he couldn't help himself. He could deal with her anger if she found out, but he wouldn't be able to deal with losing her. The mere thought about never seeing her again drove his sanity away. He parked his car 2 blocks away from the court and ran the rest of the way. He crossed the crime scene tape and flashed his badge while running into the building. The halls were swarming with police officers, and quite a few civilians. He couldn't spot Sharon anywhere between them.

"Please God, let her be safe," he prayed as he walked down the hall to Judge Richwood's courtroom, where Sharon was supposed to be. According to the information he got from a young officer he stopped and interrogated for a few minutes, that was where the shooting took place.

About a dozen officers stood outside the courtroom and interviewed witnessed. Andy walked past them and entered the courtroom, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He walked through the gallery and reached the bar, careful not to touch anything and contaminate the scene. The bar door was open and he crossed it.

The bodies were already removed from the scene and so were the injured. He knew any information he'd be able to get would be partial only. He threw a glance towards the prosecution table, where Sharon and DDA Rosen must have been sitting when the shots were fired. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed Sharon's broken glasses thrown under the table in a pool of blood. He could also see a blood trail leading towards the judge's bench. His eyes followed the trail and landed on a one of Sharon's favorite Jimmy Choo pumps thrown on its side midway.

"Andy?" he heard Andrea Hobbs' voice behind him. He turned around to face her.

"DDA Hobbs," his voice shook.

"Lieutenant Provenza said you'll be here," she stated.

"Where's Sharon?" was all Andy could ask.

"They took her to the hospital," Andrea replied. "I was at a courtroom next door when the shooting took place. I saw the paramedics wheeling her outside. She knew you'll come looking for her."

"Did she get shot?" Andy asked as he rushed towards the exit. Andrea followed him.

"It appears so. From what I heard from DDA Rosen, she pushed him under the table and took the shooter down, but he hit her first." Andrea said, and Andy could tell she was shaken. "I managed to speak to the paramedics before they drove away. The bullet went through her phone, and may have saved her life. DDA Rosen said she tried to save Judge Richwood, but…" Andrea paused for a moment.

"She tried to stop the bleeding, but he lost too much blood." Andy heard DDA Rosen coming from the doorway. Andrea let out a deep sigh, and turned towards DDA Rosen.

"Are you okay, Andrea? You didn't get hurt, right?" DDA Rosen asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. Are you?" she asked him. He nodded quickly and she turned towards Andy. "Is it okay if I ride with you to the hospital?" Andy nodded. In his state of mind, it would probably be good to have some company, and he assumed Andrea needed it as well. They walked out of the courthouse and towards where Andy parked his car.

Once they arrived at the hospital, Andy located the first nurse he saw and flashed his badge, demanding information about Sharon's condition. At her first refusal, he considered explaining to her that Sharon was an important witness in a courthouse shooting and that he needed to interview her, but Andrea intervened and explained he was her significant other. It was then that the nurse explained that the bullet went through Sharon's phone and into her stomach, tearing several blood vessels, which lead to a critical blood loss. She explained that Sharon was currently undergoing an emergency surgery to try to stop the bleeding and fix her up. The nurse's use of the words 'fix her up' made Andy wonder if she thought of Sharon as a broken doll rather than a human being. Maybe that was how doctors and nurses dealt with the stress of their jobs. He certainly sometimes felt it was the safest way to be a cop and deal with the horrors of his job.

"I need to call Rusty," Andy realized once he and Andrea settled in the waiting room. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Rusty's number. The kid picked up after two rings and as it turned out, he has already heard about the shooting on the news. Andy let him know some general details and reminded him to drive carefully on his way to the hospital, as he knew Sharon would do. While they waited for Rusty and for news about Sharon's condition, he could feel his blood pressure rising every time a nurse went into the room.

"Andy, maybe you should step outside for a little bit. You look pale," Andrea said. "And this can't be easy on you."

"I should stay here and wait for news," Andy replied and she could tell by his voice that he was barely holding himself together. Andrea gently patted his shoulder.

"I'm here for anything you need," she said softly.

"Hey, what's going on with my mom?" they heard Rusty as he stormed into the waiting room. Andy explained the situation to him. "Where you there when it happened?" he turned to Andrea.

"I was next door," she responded. "But I got to talk to her before they took her to the hospital."

"Did she say anything about me?" he asked. Andrea shook her head. "We had an argument this morning, before she left. I said some hurtful things and…"

"Rusty, no matter what you said, she loves you and she knows you love her too," Andy squeezed his shoulder to reassure him. "And when she's out of the surgery, I'm sure she'll tell you that herself."

After 2 hours of waiting, their patience was running thin, and every minute that passed, eroded their faith that things will work out and the string of hope they were holding on to started to rip.

"What if she's dead?" Rusty's voice was panicked. "Your surgery didn't take so long," he turned to Andy.

"In my surgery, the doctor could prepare in advance. This is an emergency surgery, it's different," Andy explained, but he couldn't help thinking about what Rusty said. What if Sharon's bleeding was too strong to contain? What if her heart failed during the surgery? What if she lost function of her vital organs and couldn't be saved? Or worse, what if they could save her, but she would never regain consciousness again? Did she want to stay on life support or did she sign a DNR? He wondered why he didn't know what she wanted in such a case. With the dangers that their job posed, not discussing the subject felt almost irresponsible.

"Is there a relative here for Sharon Raydor?" they heard a nurse who came into the waiting room. All three of them jumped up from their seat.

"I'm her son," Rusty was the first to speak.

"Sharon went out of surgery. The doctors stopped the bleeding. There was no damage to any vital organs," the nurse said.

"Can we see her?" Rusty asked.

"She is still waking up, so she may be disoriented, but I can take you to her," the nurse said.

"I'll give you two some time with her," Andrea said. Andy thanked her for keeping them company. "Call me if you need anything, and tell her I said hi, okay?" Andy nodded and Andrea turned around and left. They walked into Sharon's hospital room. She was lying in bed, her eyes fluttering open and shut several times. She looked pale and uncomfortable, but other than that she seemed okay, and that calmed both Andy and Rusty down. Rusty walked to her bed and took her hand.

"Mom, how are you feeling?" he asked. Sharon's eyes fluttered open and she looked at him for a long moment, before his words registered in her mind.

"Tired," she responded, the words rolling on her tongue longer than necessary. "I can barely see."

"Where are your glasses?" Rusty asked.

"They broke during the shooting," Andy replied. "And they are evidence, so I couldn't remove them from the scene."

"I'll get you the spare glasses later," Rusty promised.

"Did Judge Richwood make it?" she asked. Andy shook his head. Sharon closed her eyes for a long moment. "I tried to… there was so much blood," she mumbled and Andy suddenly remembered that Judge Richwood was in fact one of Sharon's close friends. So close, in fact, that she asked him to help with Rusty's adoption a couple years earlier. Maybe he shouldn't have told her about the judge's death while she was still in the hospital.

"I'm so sorry, Sharon," he said and his hand went to her hair, gently moving it from her face and tucking it behind her ear. Tears started streaming down her face, and Andy knew that under normal circumstances, she would be able to hold them back, but half sedated and after an emergency surgery, he knew she wasn't able to control her emotions, as she usually did. Taking a seat at the edge of her bed, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her to him. His fingers caressed her hair as she buried her head in his stomach and cried. Rusty looked at her, horrified, and it was clear to Andy that he hasn't seen her in this state before. He had to admit it was a first time for him as well.

"Mom, is there something I can get you?" he asked. Andy shook his head at him. It was obvious by the boy's expression that he was feeling extremely uncomfortable with Sharon's distress. It was understandable, especially considering the fact that she was usually such a pro at keeping her emotions in check. "I'll just go outside and update Gus and then I'll come back, okay?" Andy nodded quickly and Rusty left the room.

"I was so scared, Andy," Sharon cried.

"I know, sweetheart. People think we're so fearless because we are cops, but we're all scared when we're being shot at," Andy said. He wished there was something he could do to shield her from this experience and from the emotional and physical pain it brought. "And I am here, for everything you need." Sharon's sobbing subsided gradually. "I love you," he said as he wiped her tears with the ends of his sleeves.

"Did anyone say when they're going to let me out of here?" she asked when she was calmer.

"No, but I don't think they'll keep you here for a long time. Maybe a week?" Andy replied, trying to remember how long it took Julio to be released from the hospital after he was shot.

"I love you too, Andy," Sharon said as her eyes began fluttering open and shut again. He helped her settle back on the pillows and then leaned to kiss her lips. "Don't leave, okay?" she pleaded.

"Never," he promised her and watched her as she closed her eyes and slipped into a much needed slumber, her hand grasping at his shirt. "Just don't leave me either, alright?" He knew she wouldn't respond. The fear, grief, pain and love that she felt throughout this terrifying experience all drained her from any energy to stay awake for a long time. He knew that her physical wounds would heal soon, the emotional injuries will take longer, and he knew that no matter how hard and upsetting, he will never let her go through it alone. He'll be there, for when she needs him, and he'll never let go.

THE END

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 **As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this story, so feel free to leave a review or send me a PM.**


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